The Loud Syndrome
by Big Diesel
Summary: Join the circle of discord as each woman from Royal Woods wants one thing: Lincoln Loud. Rather through love letters, drugged soda, kidnapping, or whatever their yandere hearts desire. Enter the dark comedy of mishaps and misadventures as Lincoln is subjected to whatever thing a woman wants to do to him. {One-shots/anthology} {NSFW} {AU}


_**Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Loud Syndrome. A comedy-dark comedy of Lincoln being pursued by the women of Royal Woods. Rather it is his family, his classmates, his teachers, there is no running from the love of a woman for their Linky. And at some point, he probably won't mind it. As always, discretion is strongly advised! All characters are at the age of consent. This is an OOC Lincoln x OOC Luna story. Enjoy!**_

It was a quiet afternoon at the Loud residence. The aspiring faux-British rock star, Luna Loud, was tunning her Gibson guitar. Her latest band with her girlfriend Sam, Loudy Luna, was to play tonight. As the brunette sat on the couch and watched Nirvana from _MTV Docs _from her parents' VCR, the door opened.

She stuck out her tongue in excitement. _Seems like my darling brother, Linky, is home. _She quickly stood up to welcome her doting brother into her bosom until he saw that he wasn't alone.

"Hey, you baka! Learn how to hold a door properly for a lady." Luna's face flattened when she saw the repulsive shrew, Ronnie Anne, making her disgracing entrance to their domicile.

"Easy, _Kacchan_," interjected Lincoln. "How can I hold the door if I am carrying both of our backpacks?"

"Want a taste of the old Sloppy Joe…" She immediately cut herself off when seeing his sister in the vicinity. She put on a daring smile. "Luna."

Luna produced a fake smile. "Ronnie Anne."

On the surface, the atmosphere seemed well but within a thunderstorm was brewing.

_You bucktooth bitch! You have the fucking nerve you have your shriveling, malcontented presence in my damn house. And the nerve of you to talk to my Linky like that. I should end you, you FUCKING imbecile!_

Ronnie Anne proceeded to walk into the kitchen where it was safely assumed that they were working on their homework. Lincoln closed the door as he took off his shoes and placed them in the shoebox.

"Hey, Lunes!" Before he could speak further, the doting rockstar embedded her brother into her bosom. "Linky, Linky! I miss you so!" It was met with tender kisses. She kissed any place that had an orifice. Lincoln blushed as he was taken aback by her now licks.

"Easy, Luna! I've haven't been gone that long!"

"A minute without you is like a minute without sunshine," she cried as she continued having Lincoln buried in her fleshy mounds.

Lincoln struggled to pull himself off but finally managed to do so. "Chill out, Luna! I am nearly out of high school and you continued to pull these stunts."

She stuck out her tongue while rubbing the back of her head. "C 'mon, Linky! Not _too _much!" She gave a snickering look when she grabbed his ass. "Mmm, for what you didn't grow in height, you sure did with that ass."

He scoffed embarrassingly. "Jesus, Luna. I have company over. You are getting kind old for that."

"You're never too old for Luna's loving," said Luna devotedly. _And that shrew, she ain't nobody! _

"Oi! Loud! Hurry up! Don't we have a paper to write?" Luna could hear the piece of cud from the cow's backend calling her darling brother's name.

"More like _I _have a paper to write," said Lincoln to his chagrin. "Hey, Lunes. I gotta get to my paper."

As he walked away, she grabbed him by the shoulder. "What about tonight's show?!"

"A raincheck! Teacher put a serious report on us."

"Linky, you've promised!"

He let go of Luna's hand. "Next show, I promise."

"Oi! Loud! Hurry up!"

She felt a strain in her heart when she saw Lincoln going to that wretched, sickening whore called Ronnie Anne. Luna felt anger brewing from her heart. If one were to pay attention, cracks were forming on the floor in front of her.

_It's her damn fault! The bitch probably knew that the paper was due and is probably her idea to do it so he couldn't see my concert! Yeah, I am on to you, bitch! You want my Linky to yourself! I know that game! All you Santiagos think you can use spells to take what doesn't belong to you. I may not have magic but I have the power of love. And that will prevail. So, test me, bitch. For you WILL FAIL!_

She returned back to her couch, putting her guitar to the side. As she pondered on the next move, she couldn't get Lincoln out of her head. She admitted that her love for Lincoln isn't _traditional_. Her relationship with her girlfriend was _atypical_. It didn't matter for she had watched the loving, adorable white-haired knight grow up to become a handsome boy. He was the jack-of-all-trades, an awesome wonder, and a wonderful guy.

Those thoughts led to more lecherous feelings. She was grateful to wear a pad.

_I am going to get my Linky to go to that concert tonight. It will be there when I will proclaim my love to him. But first, the bitch…._

_**About an hour later….**_

Lincoln and Ronnie Anne were sitting in the kitchen as they were working on their homework. More so was Lincoln working for both of them while the brunette was perusing social media.

"If Naruto were to use his Sexy Technique on himself, would he be gay for using that," she said to herself as she took a sip of soda.

"You know, that can be a great discussion to add to your work," said Lincoln.

"Don't worry about me, spaz," retorted Ronnie Anne. "Just make me look good on this paper."

"Why are you acting such an ass lately," questioned Lincoln as he became frustrated. "And why in the hell am I allowing you to do this me?"

She observed her nails. "Probably because I am Kacchan in this and you will always be Deku." She smirked. "You're Pinky and I'm the Brain. I am your Kevin to your Ed. The Cardin to your Jaune." She glared her eyes. "Shall I carry on?"

"Yoo-hoo! Ronnie Anne! Linky!" Lincoln and Ronnie Anne turned to the source of the voice. Lincoln's mouth was agape when seeing Luna sporting a Japanese schoolgirl outfit. She was sporting a pink wig, the uniform remind Lincoln from the anime _Rosario + Vampire_. He swallowed the lump as it was tightly fitted and almost short where he could see Luna's purple-and-white striped panties.

"Whoa," whistled Ronnie Anne. "Very PG-13 here. Got a hot date?"

_I do. And it will be with my brother. No interlopers allowed. _

"Something like that," she said as she positioned herself near Lincoln. "Getting my outfit ready for tonight's concert." Lincoln turned red when seeing her breasts. It could barely be contained from her bra. That put a smile on Luna's face.

"Forgot that you are doing shows and stuff," said Ronnie Anne. "A off-band of SMOOCH right?"

_That pen on the table looks deliciously yummy….IN THAT DAMN EYE!_

"We are a cover band for SMOOCH," interjected Luna as she produced her fake smile. "But on the way to fame. Did you see our article in _Genius_? Unsigned Hype!"

"Oh!" Ronnie Anne shrugged her shoulders. "Must've missed. Didn't see PewDewPie or Ricegum mentioning it." She crossed her legs. "Recognizable people by the way and that Needledrop guy didn't say anything either. When I get the chance, I'll check it out."

_You are able to get an article from the Detroit News in the obituaries. And I'll be sure to quote that on your gravestone. _

"Linky loves when I am Loudy Luna, right?" Luna purposely pressed her breasts onto Lincoln, making him blush.

"I love their band," said Lincoln. "I wish I can go, sis. But I have work."

"That's right," interjected Ronnie Anne. "Work. Something I think you should consider to do or should be?"

The conversation stopped when Ronnie Anne's phone rang. She took it from her purse as she answered it.

"_Ronnie Anne speaking."_

"_Yeah, Bobby, what's up?"_

"_You got locked out again?"_

"_Damn, boy! By now, you and Lori should have backup keys."_

"_Taking a break again? Jesus, you guys are adults…."_

"_Fine, on the way."_

She cursed under her breath. "I'll be back, Lincoln." She grabbed her things and placed them into her backpack. "Later!"

"Later," replied Lincoln.

"Yeah, later," said Luna. _Later in the pits of Hell. _She tugged to her brother, pecking him on the cheek. "Gotta get ready. Got this killer black lipstick I want to wear also. Be right back." She darted off to her former bedroom.

Lincoln finally had a chance to breathe. He put his work aside, trying to gain his composure.

_I didn't try to get a boner. I didn't try to get a boner. I didn't try to get a boner._

Lincoln knew his relationship with his sister wasn't normal. Even at this age, he still bathes with her, sleeps with her, and still gets fed by her. He would think that she and Sam cohabitating would stop it. But, instead, her love for him grew.

_Luna is still adjusting to staying alone. It's common for a young adult. Our relationship is off-centered but it is still loving nonetheless._

He sighed as he returned to his schoolwork. He was beginning to type when he received a text from Ronnie Anne.

_Hey, dork! I am gonna do my own paper. Don't wait up and go to your stupid party._

_~Ronnie Anne_

Lincoln jumped from his seat as he knew he was cleared. Earlier, he felt bad for lying to Luna about doing his homework (it was already finished and Ronnie Anne forced him to do hers).

"_Hey, Luna! Got a few extra minutes for me to change clothes?"_

_**Later that evening….**_

Lincoln jumped off the front porch in an ill-attempt to imitate moves of the late Jimi Hendrix as he was happily preparing to go to Luna's concert. Sporting his bleached oversized Misfits t-shirt, dirtied bleached blue jeans, and sporting a black cap, the teen was ready for tonight.

"Jesus, Linky! You would think that this was your concert with your excitement," said Luna as she closed the front door.

"I get the chance to spend time with my sis," said Lincoln.

She blushed, clenching to her heart. She was fortunate to God that she was wearing a pad. "I love you, too, Linky."

She stopped on the first stoop when she heard her phone ring. "Hey, Linc! Start the car for me. I will be right back."

"No problem," said Lincoln as he took the keys.

Luna walked back into the house. She saw that it was Sam. She answered it. "Hey, baby!"

"It's done, baby!"

"Is the pest _controlled_?"

"You won't have to worry about Ronnie Anne interfering."

"You made the text convincing?"

"Well, of course, my dear."

"Good! See you tonight!"

"I might be a set or two late. She is a feisty one. Get our man, Luna!"

"Love you!"

"Love you, too!"

Luna hung up the phone as she had a sickening, bedeviling smile.

"_Here I __**come**__, Linky!"_

_**To be continued….**_

Sam hung up the phone as she was sitting on the foot of the bed. She released a pleasant smile, holding on to the picture of herself, Luna, and Lincoln. She kissed it before returning to the matter at hand.

She stopped when hearing the muffling sound coming from the front of her. She put the picture down, smiling as she saw Ronnie Anne bound and gagged. Her eyes were covered.

A sound of a rotor could be heard.

"So, Ronnie Anne? Where were we?"

_Oh, my little fishy! ALWAYS be aware of your surroundings before entering a vehicle! This is going to be so much fun! Let me teach you some manners whenever you mess with my Luna and __**my **__Linky!_

_**To be continued...for real this time!**_

* * *

_**An actual conversation with Big Diesel and [girlfriendoftheauthor] on returning to Loud House fanfiction...**_

_**[BigDiesel]: girlfriendoftheauthor**_

_**[GOTA]: Yes, dear?**_

_**[BigDIesel]: Am I doing this again?**_

_**[GOTA]: Yep! Got to give them something other than My Hero Academia and RWBY!**_

_**[BigDiesel]: Yeah, yeah! **_

_**[GOTA]: New format? Age of consent? Original material?**_

_**[BigDiesel]: Alright, alright!**_

_**[GOTA]: Warnings of content? Preparing for good, bad comments from our lovely readers? Even our opps? Don't forget to have some newer content in case of freelance Feds.**_

_**[BigDiesel]: Yeah, yeah! Anyway…. Round 2 with this! Shout out to my devoted fans and readers!**_

_**[GOTA]: Don't forget your opposition!**_

_**[BigDiesel]: ….**_

_**[GOTA]: Honey!**_

_**[BigDiesel]: Enjoy the story, readers!**_

_**[GOTA]: When you are finishing the other Loud House works?**_

_**[BigDiesel]: I will, honey! Sheesh! **_

_**[GOTA]: Be sure to complete the stories this time.**_

_**[BigDiesel]: Oi!**_


End file.
